How to Avoid Being the Most Hated Person at 8:00 AM

Walking. One of the first things we learn to do as kids yet the greatest challenge for today’s high school students.

Tourists are universally accepted as one the most annoying life forms, but they can, with great patience, be excused when stopping in the middle of the street to take pictures of a monument or sculpture. This is because the objects of their attention are beautiful, historically meaningful, or inspiring. In the stifling halls of a high school, however, there is absolutely nothing that could hold as much interest or value. In other words, one should avoid greeting the friends they saw two classes ago in a manner that blocks the flow of student traffic because the chosen method of greeting almost always takes up about two-thirds of hallway space, lasts longer than a quick greeting should, and does not hold any importance for anyone else in the world. Normal people give a quick wave, a smile, or a simple “Hey!” when seeing their friends. Annoying people create a human blockade then perform handshakes that end in at least one innocent passerby receiving an elbow to their face.

As senior Arju Patel states, “It’s really ****ing annoying. I know you want to talk, but you can do it on the side (of the hallway).”  Greeting friends is okay- it’s the polite, friendly thing to do and is highly recommended. Not having any spacial awareness is not okay, will never be okay, and will always, always, end with the accumulation of hatred from all four corners of a building filled with tired, hungry, and stressed students.

If there is a life threatening emergency, if you’ve just reunited with a twin brother with whom you have been separated from since birth, if you just have to tell Becky that Jenny told Courtney to tell Kathy that Brittney was talking smack about Becky, pull them aside and then rant, cry, or spontaneously combust to your heart’s content. But please, don’t do any of that in the middle of the hallway.

Don’t be annoying. Learn how to walk.